In Buddhism, attachment to someone or something is the cause of all suffering. The thought of losing that someone or something causes fear, jealousy and disappointment.

The common interpretation of the word love is a form of attachment. It is conditional — it’s solely for the fulfillment one’s own needs. It is also a manifestation of selfishness and possessiveness. When you are in love with someone, how much of it is actually happiness? Is there a fair bit of pain involved also?

The real way to love is to do so unconditionally and without attachment; to wish others to be happy no matter what. There is no, “What’s in it for me?” It is to give without expecting anything in return.

Nobody said it was easy.

My best friend from primary school — we lost touch when I was sent away to boarding school in Cali. I guess I lost all his contact info through all the moving back and forth. I started looking for him when I got out of there and into university, and finally got in touch a few years back.

I was able to see him for the first time in almost 15 years last October on my trip to Hong Kong. He was playing in a band in a bar at Lan Kwai Fong. There, I was lucky enough to meet his girlfriend. They made a great couple. They got engaged shortly after I got back from the trip and got married last month.

Today I got news that they are expecting a baby. My how time flies! I remember the last few conversations I had with him before I was sent away — they were about self…ehem…discovery. I can’t believe that he’s put his experiences into good use so soon!

I’m truly happy for him. Congratulations Andrew.

I just realized the preceding post was a perfect example of the preceding post’s preceding post. Mismatched expectations are a disaster waiting to happen.

The key to a great relationship, whether it’s in the workplace, romantic in nature, or just between friends, is communication. If you want it to work, you have to let the other person know what is expected of them and what you expect to give in return. From there you compromise. You also have to understand that when you don’t communicate this to them, you can’t blame them for what they don’t know they should be doing.

Then again, if you don’t really want it to work…

Yes, I’m an asshole. Yes, I’m big-headed. My idol is this guy. Yes, I like myself just the way I am.

Why do women play games? They like to play hard to get, and when you play it right back at them they get mad at you. In this case, I asked a girl out for a 3rd date, and she said she’d get back to me. She never did. Due to a burning lack of concern, I never bothered to follow up.

I ran into her a couple weeks later in a club, and she said sarcastically, “Thanks for calling!”. Wait a second…I thought you said you’d get back to me. Now it’s my fault? Please don’t blame me for not playing your game.

Don’t worry, I was gonna give you the LJBF speech anyway.

I expect some basic things from friends. Things such as like loyalty, trust, a sympathetic ear, not flaking out, and returning phone calls. In the past when they didn’t come through for me, I used to get mad and disappointed. They didn’t live up to my expectations as a friend.

Nowadays I look at it differently. When I meet a new friend, I have a pre-set level of expectations. If they don’t come through for me, I just lower my expectations of what I should be getting from them. I’ll try my best to be a good friend back to them, but if I don’t come through once in a while I won’t feel guilty anymore.

I try to look at it from their point of view. If they don’t see anything wrong with what they are or aren’t doing, why should I? Instead, I just apply their viewpoint when I think about how I should be treating them as a friend.

OK, I know I know, do unto others as you would have them do you…I mean unto you. I’ll try.